Homework day for me

Today was a homework day and I am just trying to make myself do it lol. I am almost done with my associates degree and then on to my BA in business and marketing. I feel like I am really struggling with myself to do everything good. Of course the weight thing is heavy on my mind, like always. This next few months I have a lot to look forward too. We have two receptions, going home to CA (to see my dad and tami and rest of the fam cali!) :) moving into base housing, seeing my in-laws and VEGAS. I'm really proud of myself for sticking to this school thing lol I have never been one for sticking with things, as bad as it my sound I have def changed. About to graduate with honors and I am ready for some more school then to tackle the world. I am hoping this change I have made helps my weight loss. Following through is something that I need to get better at and I have. I am almost done with my zebra print cards. They are my latest masterpiece. As much as I love design I am ready to explore the business part now and I realize that designing adds wont be my calling. It is fun but I would rather be the brains of the operation lol. Anyway. I am off to bed because I have school in the AM. Nice chat bloggers :) <3

Sleepless night pep talk with myself

I have never had a blog unless you count Facebook or Myspace (back in the day). I pretty much couldn't sleep and decided I would start a blog and I'm feeling kind of slow at this. I have been on a lifestyle change and this is the main reason I decided to start this, well and to record my journeys as a new wife and air force wife but this is the journey I am going though now. I have lost 13 pounds in the last three weeks, this weekend my husband and I got off track and I have been thinking all night that I am wishing I would not have done this. I feel like weight has been a constant struggle in my life and I am not ready to give up again. So tomorrow I will be starting up again. I feel like crap anyway when I start eating bad foods. I wonder why we eat things that are bad for us. I know they are good, obviously but they makes us feel sluggish and gross and have no positive effects at allm except the instant gratification during when your taste buds are happy. I am not an alcoholic, I don't do drugs and wouldn't consider myself addicted to anything except food. This has been the firt time where I sat down and actually admitted it to myself and I cant really believe I am writing this to share with the world. We feel happy, we eat. Sad, we eat... We live in a society where food is everything and it shouldn't be. We should eat to survive and live. I think this should be my new mindset from now on. How would it make sense to reward yourself with a cupcake, lol reward yourself with a kickass workout or a carrot lol. I know it is easier said than done but I hope I can do this, this time because I want to be healthy for my husband, our future children and mostly for me, sometimes when people take pictures of me and I look at them I feel like crying because I don't feel like I really look that fat, In the end I am not happy with the person staring back at me in those pictures or the mirror, for a matter of fact I think I look better in the mirror lol. Bottom line, I don't want to be overweight with problems at 21 almost 22. I don't have problems yet but I know they are coming if I continue down the path I was headed down before the Kettle ball workout. I think I just motivated myself all over again and I am ready to keep going. Nice chat, with myself? :) 13 pounds and about 60 to go :) 

On a bit of a happier note I do have to say I had an amazing four day weekend with my friends and husband. Today produced one of those pictures I was talking about above. lol. I loved being in the parade today though. It made me so proud to see my husband walking in uniform and people saying thank you to him and shaking his hand, not going to lie.. I got teary eyed. I think I need to end here though, this is a long post :) Happy Independence day everyone and god bless all our troops. <3 Sarah